I should not drink...

... because I become an emotional time bomb after I sober up. Why is that? Is it simply because I lack a Y-chromosome? Doubtful, as I don't see other women acting the same way. Is it because I never grew up... I'm immature? More likely... psychological damage can do that to a person. That sounds like pshycho-babble... "My mommy didn't love me enough - My daddy was never around..." Bull hockey. Am I just hard-wired this way, like it's a part of my personality? Maybe. If so, is it possible to change it? Again, maybe.

On the other hand, I have to ask the question, "Do I want to?" I like that I wear my heart on my sleeve. No surprises with me... what you see is what you get. I'm an emotional rollercoaster, and I know it. But I think I enjoy the sad and angry and frustrated as much as the happy and content. I love that I can feel, and feel deeply. It makes life that much richer for me, that much more meaningful. I know that doesn't work for everyone, but it does for me.

The thing is, I really hate drama and confrontation. So, to avoid these distasteful things in my life, should I try to regulate or nullify my emotions?

Also, in my experience, people tend to prefer other people who are not an open book, who are more enigmatic and mysterious. People tend to like and gravitate toward people they can't figure out, can't define, can't predict. Would I have more friends if I changed?

Can I even change? I cave to peer pressure... I am easily influenced by those around me... I am a people-pleaser... I lack self-will, will-power. Can I change?

I invite, even encourage, comments to this post, please.