Random Thoughts

Have you ever made a decision that seemed like a good idea at the time, but later you realized it was a huge mistake? This is the story of my life. I follow my heart, make decisions I "feel" are right or good, and they come back to bite me in my butt 9 times out of 10. I try asking advice from trusted friends and family, I try praying, I try following social norms, but it all always seems to backfire on me somehow. Why is that? Is there a sign on my forehead or back that says, "Go ahead, crap on me, break my heart, treat me badly, I don't mind." They say, "What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger." Who came up with that retarded statement? Yeah, if a car crash doesn't kill you, it'll make you stronger, but only after an immense amount of pain, weakness, humiliation, and hard work. Who wants to go through all that just to be a little stronger? Not me.

The only consolation I have is that "time heals all wounds." People who have hurt me in the past are my friends now. I don't hold grudges; it may take me a while to heal, but I eventually let it all go. For example, my first ex-husband, and I are cool now, friends even. We have our daughter's best interests at heart, and parents that get along is healthy for everyone involved. I'm even good friends with his wife. As another example, even with some recent drama, I have neutral-to-friendly thoughts about a certain ex-boyfriend of mine and his girlfriend/fiance. It's almost like the recent drama we had just finished it for me, like the final blow that kills a twitching insect or something. I'm sure there's a better analogy, I just can't think of it. Not that I was pining or anything, but I did have residual feelings of anger and general confusion. Those feelings are gone now, poof, like evaporated water. If I ever have contact with them again in this plane of existence, I think I could be nice to them, even friendly, possibly even friends. Not that they care, or anyone else cares for that matter. Why am I typing this? Who even reads my blogs besides my sister-in-law, and I tell her all this crap.

Blogs are redundant.

Anyway, I want to blog about this incredibly adorable (though somewhat annoying) personality trait that my boyfriend has, but I'm afraid I'll embarrass him, so I won't... at least not yet. I'll wait until we've been together longer, until the relationship is strong enough to endure a little embarrassment. :D If I did blog about it, he'd make me sit in the corner, and I hate that. LOL

My daughter is at her dad's in AZ for another week-and-a-half. I already miss her. I want my midget to come home. She brightens every day so much, and she's just fun and adorable.

I have a job. I'm a waitress at Rib Crib (hey, don't knock it - it's hard work). At least my mom will let up on some of her nagging now.

My neighbor is going to teach me how to fight. I have a couple of soon-to-be-ex-in-laws that I need to prepare for. They need to back off or feel my wrath, and my neighbor is going to help me make sure they really feel it. Awesome. Piss me off, see what happens.

Ok, I have to go play games and be social. All good things must end.