Take Pride in the Little Things

Friday, my son started daycare, and he loves it! He has so much fun. I'm glad he likes it. He gets a little fussy when I drop him off, but the the teacher distracts him with food or toys, so I can slip out. I feel better knowing he's with people that can actually take care of him.

Also, Monday, my older brother and his wife got their van tagged, insured, and running, so they don't have to borrow my car anymore. Yeah! And my younger brother bought a bike, so he can bike himself to and from work. So I finally have my car to myself again. I'm so happy! :D

Baby steps.

I'm one piece of paperwork away from an apartment, and I can hardly wait. Grown women should NEVER live with their mothers! Part of the time, I feel like I'm 16 again ("Mom, can you watch the kids while I run to the store?"). Part of the time I feel like I'm married to her -- scary thought ("Why don't you ever wash the dishes?" she nags...). And part of the time I feel like I'm the mom and she's the daughter ("Mom, you can't feed the kids ice cream and call it dinner!") I just need to get my own place.

I also recognize that living with my mom has allowed me to be lazy, and I need to get out of that before it becomes permanant. I have enough character flaws, I don't need another.

By the way, I have a great quote I've been wanting to post for a while. It's from a Starbucks cup:

The Way I See It #76

The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating -- in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.

Anne Morriss (www.starbucks.com/wayiseeit)

I love this quote. I've read it several times on my coffee cups in the last month or so. Perhaps I should have shared it sooner. Perhaps sharing it sooner could have saved me some pain. Then again, maybe not.

I will grow stronger; I will need less. I will find someone who needs me, wants me, loves me. Until then, I will commit to my kids, my job, myself. That's all that really matters anyway, right?

Maybe if I keep saying all this psychologically healthy stuff, some of it will actually sink in, and the pain will go away. Maybe.