It is typically human, and especially American, to want something, covet it with all your heart, and then once you get it, to want something else or something better.
However, I am definitely not typical.
I wanted a really good friend that I could connect with on every level (remember me blogging about that months ago?), and I got her, my mom's new neighbor. She and I just really get each other. I love it. I feel completely comfortable with her, like I can totally be myself with her without fear of judgement or ridicule or rejection. It's great. I can tell her anything, and I know she'll understand. She gives me good advice, motivates me to be better, helps me when she can, and accepts my help in return. It's fantastic!
I also blogged about wanting a boyfriend (remember?), that special someone who just really fit me and wouldn't leave or screw me over. I got him too, my new best friend's brother. He and I dated for a mere two weeks about five years ago, but it ended (don't want to share the details), and I have regretted it since. Now, suddenly, I have a second chance, and I'm making the best of it. I've grabbed my second chance with both hands, and I'm not letting go! He and I fit together so well. Our libidos are the same, he remembers things I forget (and vice versa), he thinks my pouting is cute, and we spoil each other. Nothing about him really bothers me, and the things about me that have bothered past boyfriends/husbands, don't bother him at all. We disagree once in a while, and we have the occasional misunderstanding, but we work it out fast, and we have a good laugh about it. We make each other laugh a lot, and that's important. He adores my kids, and they seem to really adore him. I'm happy, but more than that, I'm satisfied, I'm content. That means a lot to me.
Being with him makes the bad things in my life seem less bad. He makes the unbearable bearable. Does that make sense? I still need a job, and he needs a better one. Then I'll finalize my divorce, and he'll finalize his, and hopefully get custody of his daughter. But these things seem less urgent, less life altering, because we are so satisfied with our life together.
I still don't think I'm making any sense, but I can't think of a better way to explain it. Oh, well.
My daughter is back in school, 4th grade. She's so excited. My son has started talking in sentences, but since it's still baby gibberish, we still don't know what he's saying. But he will tell us something, and his face is so serious, and he's trying so hard to communicate, using full sentences, and mimicking our sentence structure and tonal patterns. It's SO cute! He's only a year-and-a-half, but he's wearing 3T and 4T clothing. He's my big boy. My daughter moved up in her dancing to the next class. She's so much shorter and smaller than the other girls in her ballet class! Her teacher calls her the class puppy. :) My daughter recently (and finally!) learned how to ride her bike, and she wants to ride it all the time. It's precious.
OK, I've run out of steam. Done for now. Bu-bye.
14 years ago
